| Friday, December 30, 2005 |
| Year-end Inventory |
Have I…
Worshipped, prayed, studied, communed and served God passionately?
Walked in honesty and integrity daily?
Honored commitments continually?
Loved adequately?
Given generously?
Encouraged fervently?
Expressed appreciation and thankfulness regularly?
Performed consistently?
Forgiven and repented wholeheartedly?
Listened attentively?
Communicated effectively?
Related to friends, family, and others graciously, respectfully and compassionately?
Practiced stewardship of my body and resources wisely?
…sometimes. These are some things I’d like to improve over the next year (and the rest of my life). I want the picture of who I think I am to match up with the person people experience and perceive me to be.
God bless all my NS friends – you are such a huge part of my weight loss success.
Happy New Year!
Feliz Año Nuevo (Spanish, duh!)
Bonne Année (French)
Gutes Neues Jahr (German)
Ano Novo feliz (Portugese)
с новым годом (Russian – lol, ya…I knew that!)
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posted by heavenlydm @ 8:40 AM   |
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| Thursday, December 22, 2005 |
| Spirit of Christmas |
I’ve been doing my thing this week – work-gym-work-gym, then home. This is making the scale move quickly. The thing I like about it is it allows me to eat things I normally wouldn't from my favorite salad bar and still experience a victory.
Wednesday we had our office Christmas luncheon (bbq). I was able to take a chicken breast, peel off the skin and throw it in the meat with my salad. It worked out. No problems with the multitudes of cookies and confections brought in for desert. I did have a low moment when the owner’s wife brought in gift baskets. I believe she knows I've been trying to loose weight. My basket was filled with foods I couldn’t eat (chocolate covered cherries, honey coated nuts, chocolate covered biscotti, etc). I struggled with the feeling she was kind (the basket was aesthetically beautiful and filled with items) but insensitive. I was really sour about it but it occurred to me that she has no concept of how single-focused I am, and that these are NOT options for me to eat. Some people just don't get it. Sigh...I forgive her.
Yesterday I came in and found a gift bag another co-worker gave me filled with 100 calorie snack packs. I went and gave her the biggest hug and shared how much it blessed me after dealing with the sinful basket. It’s nice to know there are people who’ll be sensitive to where we’re at with weight loss and will be supportive. I felt like I’d been given a $1000 gift just because of the thought she put into it.
As I mark the end of one year and beginning of the next, I think about the beginnings of my lifestyle change. I started by doing the
Discovery Health National Body Challenge . When I began I only thought of the free Bally Fitness membership, and started working out two to three times a week. I felt better, but this did nothing for my weight. I didn't have a solution for my eating issues, and was just stuck and frustrated. To top things off, my church was on a 40 day fast last January (liquids only - if you blend it/liquify it, you could eat it), and I made it 20 days before breaking down. I've done 40 day fasts before and never had a problem, but this year was different. I struggled internally with feeling I had nothing to prove. My value and significance as a person had nothing to do with how much discipline I had with food and how much I could resist (the fast breaker was Thai coconut soup - I just skipped the blending part on this particular day and chewed the rice and chicken - yum LOL). I think that was the epiphany I needed to turn the light on and look at my eating habits. My fasting failure was actually a success :). Perspective is key.
Five months later a co-worker went on NS, had great results and told me about it. The rest is history. I think about how things came together - food and fitness - and how much it means to me to be able to end the year healthier than last year. By the grace of God I've dropped 60lbs in six months. This is the best gift I've received this Christmas. As it's typical to look back on the year and evaluate progress, I hope everyone can see that, though the numbers may not be monumental, fitness is a high calling and just being "in the game" is an accomplishment in itself.
I'm looking forward to having a long weekend. My church will be having six services over Friday, Saturday and Sunday like we normally do, but for me there's something about being able to worship on Christmas. I've always loved that.
To all who haven't read Bob's Christmas story please do so. It's the spirit of Christmas at work, for sure.
Merry Christmas all,
Diane |
| posted by heavenlydm @ 2:13 PM |
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| Monday, December 19, 2005 |
| Weekend Wrap Up |
Aside being sick all weekend, it was a pretty good one. I went to another church ministry’s Christmas party, and was nice. I had my mind set to make good choices, but when I saw the buffet it seemed there weren’t any. I gave myself a pass and ate small portions of chicken picatta and chicken parm, both without pasta. I also ate steamed string beans and carrots. I passed on desert – carrot cake, chocolate swirl cheesecake or New York cheesecake with cherry topping. That was a breeze. The chicken was fried with a light bread crumb coating which was interesting…I hadn’t eaten anything fried in ages. I went to the gym afterward and worked out for two hours. Not so bad in the scheme of things.
My mental state is interesting. I think I’m getting addicted to exercising – or at least going to the gym. I’m really enjoying being able to do more. I think I was meant to be an athlete or something. Actually, I played three sports in high school and had the opportunity to go to college on volleyball scholarship but I was too chicken (fear of failure). I was even better at softball and continued to play beyond school, but just didn’t have the support or direction to pursuit it at a collegiate level. In any case, I definitely feel like I’m building some momentum to push me toward a 100lb loss by the end of June. I haven’t made any specific numeric goals since I started changing my lifestyle but 100lbs has always been in the back of my mind as a milestone. It seems doable.
I’ve been doing some counseling work to help “pretty-up” my insides to go along with my outsides, and it’s been gratifying. A few months ago I mentioned identifying myself with the term “angry black woman.” The more I evaluate things, the more I recognize I had a volcano of sucky life events that I let build up internally to the point of bitterness. I told someone recently that I just wanted 2005 to be over – it was a hard year for my family. I lost my joy. I lost my smile…which to me was like loosing a fortune. I’ve been wanting these things back for some time, and they seem to be resurfacing in my daily life. I can feel things shifting as I talk to people, as my outlook changes, and as I desire to be more and more relational. The inner work is just as much, if not even more necessary than the outer work. I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to turn things around while I’m still young with so much life and relationship potential. Life, family and friends are a gift and our time on earth is way too short to mess around with.
Finally in today’s weekend wrap-up, The NFL Champion New England Patriots (crowd cheering wildly in the background) won again and are hopefully moving toward the miraculous. I need them to be in the superbowl again – it’s a big deal (superbowl party) at church and I run around like a maniac taunting and chanting. It won’t be the same without my original home team. I was so happy to hear the Colts finally bit the big one and loss. Unfortunately, my current home team (Falcons) bit the big one too – we just don’t do so well when we’re outdoors in the winter (gotta fix that). Anywho, to all you naysayers, hear me now…The Pats are back! |
| posted by heavenlydm @ 3:08 PM |
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| Friday, December 16, 2005 |
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These are pictures from my church's Christmas leadership banquet last night. Lots of laughs, I ate well...steamed veggies, chicken breast/small steak fillet, wild rice, salad...and for dessert I sent the mousse back and ate a bowl of the garnish - delicious strawberries, blueberries and boisenberries. Yum!
I got tired of hearing the trinity of...oh, you're so beautiful...I didn't recognize you and wow you look so great comments when everyone I saw began to repeat the same phrases. It got old really fast - I love compliments, but the more they came the more I felt deja vu (yeah, yeah, yeah...let me guess what you have to say...Diane you look so beautiful. Wow, you look great. I didn't recognize you). |
| posted by heavenlydm @ 2:26 PM |
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| Monday, December 12, 2005 |
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...A fresh start to a new week, and things are looking good. I went to my first holiday party last Friday and the worst thing I ate was chili. I brought deserts, including an NS friendly one that I could eat (pumpkin mousse). This week I've got a black tie formal which I've decided to not be stressed about. The last time I went the food was reasonably healthy (no heavy sauces, steamed veggies, etc), and I did lots of dancing, so I've got a means built in to burn calories :).
Life at the gym is good. I took my first strength class and my arms, chest and shoulders are still a little sore from all the weight lifting. I did things I wasn't sure I could do, which was a nice surprise. I met the instructor in advance while doing some cardio work and she suggested that I come try her class. She commented that she was surprised at how well I did. The biggest NSV was being able to do the ab work. I've been avoiding classes thinking I wasn't at the right endurance level and I hate the ab work because I always cramp up. I felt like I was on the mountain top when I was able to do everything along with everyone else. No cramps at all. I can look back and say I'm in way better shape than six months ago. Yeah for me! My next goal is increasing my flexibility. |
| posted by heavenlydm @ 9:03 AM |
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| Tuesday, December 06, 2005 |
| Out of Chubby Chick USA |
I went to the tailor today and she laughed at me. I swam in my dress! She kept saying “way too big, way to big.” It was so much fun, and I’m so looking forward to wearing it. While out I went and tried on some clothes for kicks, and I’ve officially able to wear clothing sold in most department stores. Pretty soon it’ll be the end of my relationship with “chubby chick U.S.A.” (most plus sized clothing stores pretty much carry the same merchandise or are owned by the same parent company, so I call them chubby chick U.S.A.).
I can see myself doing some of the things I use to be able to. I have a mental picture of me doing more, and being more. It’s pretty special. It makes me wonder why I messed around with the weight and my health for so long. My eyes are open to the possibilities.
Last week I hit the gym five times which translated into a 4lb loss…the biggest in a while. I’ve been enjoying the time at the gym, varying my workouts and spending more time there. I have to keep fighting fear of success and all the “what-if’s” of failure (what if this momentum doesn’t last, etc)…the mental game keeps pushing me to do more. I also went back to eating more NS foods for discipline’s sake. I was taking in too many calories between lunch, dinner and dessert so I’m giving myself a fresh start.
I can’t wait until the next big milestone! |
| posted by heavenlydm @ 4:10 PM |
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| Thursday, December 01, 2005 |
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Things are moving right along. I've worked out every day this week so far, doing eliptical running and resistance training. I did see the scale moving downward, so I'm pleased. More than that, I went for a little "pick-me-up" last night and got the tape measure out and saw that I've lost quite a few more inches all over. I'm really happy with that. Even my little jeans are starting to get baggy. All of this right before our church's leadership ball :). I'm taking a gown to the tailor to have it taken in a few inches :):):) Nice problems to have. :)
Speaking of problems...I keep looking at my inner thighs and seeing jello when I'm standing, and that has me unnerved. It seems like it's all of a sudden. My legs look great while I'm sitting and flexing, but as soon as I stand and look it's like...surely these legs belong to someone else! I haven't used "The Firm" workout since I bought the DVD and watched it (with a snack...rofl), but the jello thing is freaking me out and I'm ready to do what it takes to try to impact that area. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at my desk icing my feet hoping that one day I'll be heel pain free. I hope to shop for orthotics and some really good footwear this weekend.
All else is quiet, work is busy for the holidays, and I'm looking forward to the weekend. |
| posted by heavenlydm @ 1:43 PM |
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