| Wednesday, March 29, 2006 |
| What to say??? |
What do you say when you don't have anything to say. I suppose just that. I'm still pressing through on the scale but seeing marvelous results off the scale. I weigh myself a lot less these days feeling like I have a lot of grace right now and I won't let the scale rule me. I'll take the NSV's just the same.
(Warning...PMS rant) I hit an emotional wall. It's been difficult adjusting to moving through sizes in clothes and not having the range of wardrobe or appropriate sizes now. Yes, I'm back here again. It took me a long time and a lot of shopping trips to build the wardrobe I just passed on to my sister. I loved my clothes. Now having to rebuild with the likelyhood I won't be in any particular size for very long is a difficult transition to make - even though the long-term prognosis is good. I never would have thought this one area would affect me so much, and I'm grateful that the places I go I'm not required to have a fancy wardrobe. I just miss the versatility. I don't think buying new clothes is the answer either...it's moreso the confidence and comfort I had with my old wardrobe. Clothes don't make the woman but I lost a part of me in them. Weird, huh? I just never mentally prepared for this place and had no idea it would affect my self-esteem so much. Just so we're clear...this is not being upset because my clothes don't fit and I need to buy new ones...it's upsetting that I keep having to do it and buy lower quality because I won't be in them so long...and IT'S CHANGE FOR GOD'S SAKE! My life is changing and it's to the point now that the changes are catching up with me. All this dampered my motivation and discipline - I think subconsciously I did a little self-sabotage so I could have a breather for a week or so. I've recognized, and, with seeing the progress of some neat people who are roughing it out ( Bob, Tressa, and Karon...reading your recent posts inspired me), I've had a chance to evaluate things and move on. It was temporary - now the good foot is forward.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Yeah. I had a hokey disposition for some reason this morning, I think from hormones and carbs. I had a crazy dream last night (traumatizing) and it took a while to recover. I witnessed somebody I knew (but don't know in real life) fall four stories from a building, and I was able to see him later in life...as a crackhead. I cried about both things. It was awful. Then, while looking at this guy coming from a crackhouse, bullets were flying all over the place and lots of people got shot. I was traumatized by that. It was quite a dousy. By the time all my dreaming was done I had gone into the attic area of a dim mom and pop grocery store and fell through part of the ceiling (been there, done that already...lol). Jeesh...it was a difficult night. I felt like I slept for more time than I actually did. The night before I dreamed my mom got $5000 dollars (won???). That was a lot nicer :). That was quite a bit much to start the day off with.
I just want to take a moment (the flipside of my previous PMS moment) to let you guys know how much your support, encouragement, and sharing through your blogs has helped me get where I am, and reassures me that I can go on and will achieve my goal one day. Thanks to all.
P.S...if you're wondering what happened to the pretty floral template (that I loved so much), I just couldn't figure out all the HTML modifications to make and it drove me bonkers. Even with this new one...much of the text is in a foreign language (LOL!). Such is the life of blog-template-hopping, I suppose. |
posted by heavenlydm @ 2:21 PM   |
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| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 |
| ...still going... |
Thanks for the nudge to post Emily ...I'm still going at it over here. I've been trying to figure out some template problems before posting again, which obviously have taken too long. I haven't really had the time to read what's going on with other folks as well. Anywho, I post anyway, into the clear black hole of cyberspace hoping I'll be able to retain this for future reference.
I suffered a cold a couple weeks ago which severely challenged my determination to uphold gym-whore status. It took a lot, but I managed to keep myself home in bed. I've lost a few lbs and continue to press toward breaking the 250lb barrier. I'm the lightest I've been since being in Georgia and meeting all the people I know here. I'm constantly being approached now with comments on how much my face has changed (though I can't see it in the mirror, of course), and how great I look. I took a look at my "before" pic and can't believe I was so big. Wow.
It occured to me that a pattern of backsliding into snacking has arisen, which I attribute to my comfort level with the current status quo. It was a horrible realization. I don't want to stay where I am, yet I realize I look a lot better than I have this decade. Having reached a point where I can wear my shirts tucked in has brought me to such a high that I lost the determination to move past snacking to reach my next goal. So I refocus. Besides, the scale has been moving much too slow lately.
My body, on the other hand, is transforming into a lean machine. I have progressed with the weights I'm lifting to heavier lbs, and am able to run forward and backward on the elliptical - which alluded me for some time. I feel like a kid who has learned new tricks and have to supress the silly grin that crosses my face every time I toggle between directions. I'm able to cover a lot more distance than before in a shorter time, and work at more challenging resistance levels. I've worked my way up in the number of squats and lunges I'm able to do (my least favorite exercise of all time), and have some pretty solid quads. So firm that my daughter is now taking the strength class I am so she can build hers up as well. It's all good up in here!
I miss all my bloggy buddies. Don't count me out folks. |
| posted by heavenlydm @ 12:50 PM |
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| Tuesday, March 07, 2006 |
| Boredom |
I'm bored. So bored. Bored. Perhaps a little anxious. I'm anxious for something new to happen, something new to look forward to. Sigh. I'm bored. I'm bored with my hair and want to cut it all off. I'm not exaggerating...I mean having less than an inch on my coiffe. I'm desperate for a new look and for my hair to be chemical free. I just don't have the guts to go in somewhere and let them do it for not wanting to regret the decision, or to go too drastic. I just need to go somewhere where I can preview the cut on my face before doing it. Still, in the meantime...I'm bored.
I'm bored at the gym again, mainly with my cardio. I met and instructor who's willing to teach me how to play raquetball (how hard can it be?), and I'm looking to take some new classes so I can vary my workouts. I haven't found anything yet, so - you guessed it - I'm still bored. I love routines, and I hate routines. It's mostly that I like structure, but I need variety, lots of variety.
Moving on from the boring...
I got my body fat measured last weekend and it was a whopping 44% or 113lbs. I was sure it would have been lower, but perhaps I underestimated how high it was to begin with. I never measured it when I started NS. If nothing else, it's a marker. You do have to think though, about having an "Oprah-esqe" moment with a red rider wagon filled with 113lbs of lard. Sickening thought. In that vein, all that fat should be melting and/or oozing out every time I sit in the sauna...LOL!
In the home drama department...
I've got termites!!! My house is on a concrete slab - all except the portion under the master bath where they're infiltrating and marching up into the attic. The house is treated regularly every year, but these buggers found their own way. Fortunately I'll be able to the have the house treated and concrete poured to take care of it. This is the likely explanation for why I came through the ceiling last year. I can't remember if I wrote this story before. It's hillarious now, but it was a shocking adventure at the time. For the first time in my life, I was walking on air - literally! LOL I went to light the pilot on the furnace and walked on the rafters like usual...except when all of a sudden I went through the floor and my feet were hanging down from the ceiling in my closet. It was quite a sight, but the funny thing was I was immediately impressed with how strong my core was at the time. I didn't feel stressed hanging from the ceiling. I should have done a nice gymnastic dismount to get down.
In eating news...
I'm suffering from the same plight as Emily...having hell week munchies and trying to make the best of it. God help us! Oh dear God, please let this be a short stint. Meanwhile, like everything else...food has been pretty boring too. Go figure. |
| posted by heavenlydm @ 10:30 AM |
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| Friday, March 03, 2006 |
| The End of a Good Week |
Though I battled a cold and fatigue all week, it ended up being a good week just the same. I'm just six pounds away from being in the "under 100lbs to loose" club, and I'm excited. I saw some cool things happen in the past week which I think had nothing to do with me being sick. I've in no way starved a cold. Anywho, I could see the definition around my stomach and sides changing and thought it was time to try on some smaller pants. By golly, I'm another size down! It was hard work to go from 30 to 22...but I'm here and loving it.
I sent a note to Nutrisystem asking for counsel on decreasing my caloric intake and here it is...
I'm approaching the "less than 100lbs to loose" mark and wondered about
adjusting my caloric intake. I've been doing the 1500 calorie plan.
I exercise six days per week, at least four of those are twice per
day. In general, according to the machines I use, I burn approx 700+
calories a day doing cardio. I also do strength training for 60 minutes,
three times per week. I've been wondering if I've been at the right
caloric intake lately because I didn't loose much this month, and if it
made sense to move to 1200 calories.
What are your suggestions???
Their reply...
I would suggest that you keep adding the extra foods for now. You
really should wait until you really are under the 100lb to loose mark
before dropping the extra calories. If you go more than two weeks without
loosing any weight THEN it might be a good idea to go ahead and drop
down to the lower calorie plan. Keep in mind that as you loose, you will
slow down a bit in your weight loss and you won't see as dramatic a
change as you did in the beginning though you WILL continue to see a
change.
The Nutrisystem Nourish Women's Weight loss program is based upon an
average intake of 1200 calories daily for a woman looking to lose less
than 100 pounds. If you are looking to lose 100 pounds or more, your
average daily intake would be 1500 calories for the beginning phase of
your weight loss and then readjusted as you progress on the program.
However, you do not need to count calories. Simply follow the meal plan as
it is laid out in your checkbook size meal and don't skip any meals
and/or servings to ensure that you reach the minimum caloric intake needed
to burn fat. These calorie counts are an average that will vary
depending upon your specific entrée choices as well as your grocery food
additions. If you have any additional questions please don't hesitate to
contact one of our counselors.
Health Policy: Please be sure to eat all the food that is recommended
on the NutriSystem meal plan. You could be at risk of health issues if
you do not maintain a healthy diet. Additionally, please refrain from
starting the NutriSystem program if you are: pregnant, a nursing
mother, under the age of 18, anorexic or bulimic, or allergic to peanuts.
And please consult your physician before beginning any weight loss or
exercise program.
I thought it was interesting that I got a lecture on what the plan is, how I shouldn't count cals, and the health policy. I never saw that before, so that was interesting. In any case, for anyone curious about such things, that's the info I got...though I felt like had I brought this up to Mary Gregg (if this even is a person), she may have counseled differently because of the amount of exercise I'm doing. I read the e-classes minutes every so often and have gotten a feel for her (him/them...lol). Dunno.
I hope to have a relaxing weekend and go to the movies with my daughter. This is her driving test weekend...I'm praying, praying, praying she passes. Totally unrelated...as I type I've got exterminators at the house to assess our termite problem. Oh, how that sucks! They're inside...doing their thing in the attic. Sigh.
I've been shopping for an online dating service. Ya. This is HUGE for me. I'm ready to start dating again (the sound of heavy machinery drowns me out in the background as the excavating team removes the grand levels of dust covering my dating muscles). I've finally gotten to the point where I feel emotionally healthy, attractive and loveable, and could reciprocate warmth and companionship to someone. I've been hibernating for way too long, and am not really meeting the kind of guys I'd like to at my current venues. P.S...my crush has left my gym :(
That is the latest and greatest. God bless America! |
| posted by heavenlydm @ 2:32 PM |
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