| Thursday, November 10, 2005 |
| Little Jeans |
I’ve got my “little jeans” on and I feel great. Granted, they do stretch…but when I looked at them while ironing I thought to myself – I can’t believe I’m fitting these!
We’ve had wonderful, balmy weather in GA for the past few weeks. I was glad to be able to turn the heat off. This is one trade-off that pays leaving coastal New England – that and not having to shovel! We’re still encountering fall foliage so everything is looking beautiful. I’m really slipping because I can’t bring myself to rake my lawn with all the beautiful, colorful leaves on the ground. I could just be lazy…lol.
My legs have been very fatigued since I moved up to four workouts a week. I asked my “have a cheat meal” instructor about it and she said I may not be getting enough rest in-between. This one is hard to take during a plateau because I want to do all I can to break through. Yesterday I struggled with the idea of resting all day, but finally went home and watched my favorite show (LOST). I'm planning on doing a week with NS foods just to make sure I'm following the plan and walking in discipline.
I’ve noticed something in my weight loss journey. Part of the baggage of the weight was bad posture, sometimes walking with my head down (studying carpet…lol) and avoiding eye contact with the opposite sex (mostly men I find attractive). I’ve been conscious of the “head down” thing and have worked on it already so I’m feeling that’s one battle won, but I became really aware of the avoidance thing yesterday while approaching the grocery store.
I got out of my car and by the way I was walking (in some little jeans :) you’d have thought I had a string pulling me up by the head like a puppet. I felt two inches taller. I’ve noticed that my walk and swagger have changed in loosing 45 lbs…just a little more confident. As I approached I saw a man (who I found very attractive) at the entrance engaged in casual conversation with one of the workers. When previously I would have made minimal eye contact, yesterday I stared a hole in the back of his head and showed him my pearly off-whites (lol). He did a double-take, which was real nice. I kept walking in and realized what happened (that I didn’t turn away), and thought about it.
I’ve been walking in the stigma of being overweight for so long, avoiding eyes and stares because of all the years of negative comments and rejection , but yesterday I realized that I’m coming out. No more retreating, less discomfort with stares because I feel more attractive now. I’m happier with me. I’m not perceiving every look as negative or judgmental anymore. I’m worthy of attention and can hold a good glare of my own without feeling self-conscious. What will I be like when I hit the 100lb loss??? That scares me, but is a concern for another day. Until then I will enjoy becoming a new vision of me. |
posted by heavenlydm @ 9:00 AM   |
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| 3 Comments: |
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You GO, girl! Look at you ... strutting your stuff and walking taller. I'm so proud of you! Big hugs!
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Too funny, Diane. I too had a "head down" problem (as well as a look away problem) that I had to break. Now I feel like I am staring at people like a serial killer because I make a point to look at everyone straight in the eyes.
Good for you and your little jeans! Enjoy those double takes. There are sure to be many more.
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roflmbo Bob! You appear to be quite too nice to be a serial killer.
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You GO, girl! Look at you ... strutting your stuff and walking taller. I'm so proud of you! Big hugs!