| Wednesday, October 26, 2005 |
| Eat chocolate??? |
I’ve gotten over the distress of yesterday. I got on the scale last night and I was six pounds heavier. Two are probably TOM. I moved on – it was what it was and I have to regroup. I went to my water aerobics instructor (who doubles as a yoga instructor) for a pep-talk and she told me to take a break and eat some chocolate. Have a “cheat meal”. Take some time off. W-H-A-T???? I think I beamed to an alternate universe, bizzaro world – someplace else. I could have burst a blood vessel. I just got finished telling her I’m 10 months in, 45lbs down and bored. She told me to eat chocolate, have a “cheat meal” and eat some salmon. Take a walk. I sat there in the locker room trying to figure out if it was me. Had I somehow missed the vein of what she was trying to say??? Could she not see me in my distress, with more than 100 lbs to loose, trying to keep my grip, looking for suggestions for “healthy” ways to spice things up? It felt like a moment from the movie The Christmas Story when the little kid looses it and blurts out all kinds of obscenities because he’s finally flipped his top.
From that I learned something. As much as I’d like someone else to tell me “the” answer to the challenges I’m having, I will have to walk this one out. I learned that the first 45lbs for me were easy, and the next will be a little more challenging. I learned that this is my journey, and I have to figure out what works and doesn’t work for me. I learned that I have to get past the exhilaration and everything that felt good (including thinking it would always be this easy) and dig my heels in. Roll with the punches and move on. The long haul is here. The time is now. I can always glean from others, but when it comes down to it, it’s about me, my choices and my commitment. This too shall pass. Nothing is impossible with God. All things are possible with God.
I’m still looking at my “ebay bag” wondering – what was I thinking???
We have finally crossed over into fall weather. I turned the heat on for the first time Sunday night. The leaves and piles of pine straw are everywhere. I’ve had lots of hot tea, decaf and cocoa. (…fade in music) It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
I’ve been asked to pray about going to Kenya for a ministry project next summer, and felt honored. The team that will go is mature and it was a great compliment to be asked. I love missions, and loathe the fundraising I have to do to go. In the end, every minute I spend getting things together is worth it when I can extend a hand, touch a heart, lift a countenance and demonstrate God’s love towards creation. I’m tearing up recalling the miracles I’ve seen – physical healings, hearts mended, encouraging words spoken to situations that only God and the person knows about. There’s nothing like watching God do His thing, and getting to be a part of it. I’ve always wanted to go to Africa; it’s such fertile ground for the miraculous. I was born for this! |
posted by heavenlydm @ 3:57 PM   |
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| 3 Comments: |
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Congratulations, Diane. You have finally connected with the realization that ultimately our journey is our own. We can get ideas and tips from others, but it is up to us how we put those to use and what we actually do. It took me years to wake up and smell that particular cup of coffee. ::grinning:: You just keep on going. Find what works and keep going.
Wishing you well in the fundraising for the Africa trip. That sounds awesome! Big hugs!
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Diane, I give myself one cheat meal every week. It keeps my sane. I eat whatever I want for this meal.
Now, there is one hitch to this meal. See, I quickly learned that if I made really bad choices for this one meal, my body made me pay for 2-3 days in ugly, UGLY ways. I still do give myself that one meal. I just make better choices for that too.
Africa sounds like a wonderful opportunity. Please keep us posted about this.
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Bob, Karon...I'm coming around :)
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Congratulations, Diane. You have finally connected with the realization that ultimately our journey is our own. We can get ideas and tips from others, but it is up to us how we put those to use and what we actually do. It took me years to wake up and smell that particular cup of coffee. ::grinning:: You just keep on going. Find what works and keep going.
Wishing you well in the fundraising for the Africa trip. That sounds awesome! Big hugs!