| Thursday, October 13, 2005 |
| Thursday Interludes... |
My last weigh-in was a shocker to me. Mid-week I had posted a three pound loss (unofficial weigh-in) leading me to believe it would be a big week for me. I was still eating the addictive, but now boring protein bars at a couple of meals. By the time I got around to the real weigh-in I was only two pounds down and the scale was still teetering. What the crap???
My realization:
Arrogance is ugly! I felt invincible, on top of the world, super-confident and secretly better than some for being able to handle my non-NS eating. That led me to arrogantly approach eating things without paying attention to some of my portions. At the beginning of all this I was a maniac about scales, measuring cups and spoons. I filled out the daily diary diligently. Somehow I got it in my mind that I was beyond that – an ultra-superior looser who’s gotten a grip on all this stuff - and wouldn’t slip and fall. How fast the mighty have fallen! Lord, forgive me. My portions started getting bigger and bigger and I stopped measuring with the instruments all together. Last night I had to go for a late night walk because I knew I surpassed 1500 cals by having a couple handfuls of pistachios (one of my weaknesses). In hindsight this morning I’ve decided I need to bag portions that are ready to grab so I don’t have to make a decision of when to stop eating them. I originally started out having them for my dessert/fat combo. Well, anyway, I have not “arrived” yet, so I’m back to being a measuring maniac. I’m sure this affected the potential for loss last week. Now, I’m not unhappy with loosing two pounds, I just put a lot of energy into last week and got the same results as usual.
My daughter has been struggling with stress and depression. I wanna wring her neck! I remember how I saw things at 20 and she suffers from the same tunnel vision – thinking the sky is falling in her little bubble when she’s actually doing okay and just needs the benefit of plotting out some goals and plans. She has no concept of planning to achieve. I hate these cycles with her because the stress triggers sickness and she’s dealing with some medical issues that get very complicated during these times. It’s so rewarding yet so difficult to be the parent of adult children. I’m just praying – praying she’ll catch the revelation and snap out of this. In the meantime she continues to drop lbs which is always good.
Today I’m bored. Sigh. I’d like to leave work and go for a nice walk at one of our local historic mountain hiking trails – pausing every so often to appreciate the fall foliage. General Sherman marched through it on his way to Atlanta to burn it down…lol. What’s funny is I’m so ambivalent about being there. On the one hand it’s beautiful and serene, but I drive around it or walk through it and can’t help but think of how the Native Americans fought and died there or were kicked out (the Trail of Tears), and it makes me sad. I’d settle for sitting by a stream and journaling or laying on a beach in Jamaica (without being harassed to buy something or get my hair braided!) with a walkman over my ears. Sigh…reality - back to work I go.
My thought for today…if you are what you eat, then what am I????
Happy Thursday! |
posted by heavenlydm @ 9:37 AM   |
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| 4 Comments: |
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Diane!! You are a beautiful person inside and out!! I love your blog...I will be stopping by regularly. I am still trying to get settled...I am starting to get burned out on all the unpacking and all that goes with it. Thanks for leaving such a sweet comment at my blog!! You will find your someone when least expected...just like I did!! Hope you have a great day!!
Sue
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PS The way I have been eating lately...I would be cheap, fast and easy!!! Sucks. Sue
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Diane ... You are a beautiful person. I've never put much store in that "you are what you eat" stuff. I know I'm not what I eat because the food has been digested, used for fuel, and let go. Have a great night!
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Diane, two pounds is still a great loss for one week. You are doing so well.
I will confess that I have the same problem as you. I am either maniacal about things diet-related or too lacksadaisical. But, again, both of us are doing very well.
Go take that walk. Enjoy the foliage while it lasts and breath in that crisp air. Take in the positives and try to push the negatives aside.
Have a great day!
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Diane!! You are a beautiful person inside and out!! I love your blog...I will be stopping by regularly. I am still trying to get settled...I am starting to get burned out on all the unpacking and all that goes with it. Thanks for leaving such a sweet comment at my blog!! You will find your someone when least expected...just like I did!! Hope you have a great day!!
Sue