| Monday, September 26, 2005 |
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09/26/05
Last weekend I went camping for the first time. I was on a retreat for leaders from the inner-healing ministry I serve in, and was blessed inside and out to be able to rest. I took as much of my own food as I needed to substitute for the high cal/carb/fat stuff they had. Overall their food was pretty healthy, and I just needed to substitute breads and breakfast stuff. I was pretty happy with how easy it was to do it, and even managed to slip in a brisk walk for exercise. I noticed how I'm not tempted to eat "big ticket" cheating food like cake, cookies and the like. It's great to feel so strong and empowered.
The thing I wanted most out of the weekend was to come away feeling refreshed, and to let go of some of the unnamed anger I was carrying around. Honestly, I was getting angry or frustrated with most everyone and everything - does PMS last two weeks??? Anywho, I feel great today and my disposition has evened out (thank God). The highlight of the weekend was hearing a message someone shared on how we want to hide our weaknesses and pain, but God wants them out in the open surrendered to Him so His strength can be made perfect in them, therefore glorifying Him. (2 Cor 12:7-10) After the message our group confessed some of our struggles and weaknesses and were affirmed in our gifts and callings.
I've been thinking about my NS success and wondering how long it will take to get to my goal weight. Unlike others, I don't set mini-goals for myself so I haven't celebrated the small victories along the way - like finally being in the 200's again. That was HUGE for me. I'm wondering if shedding the weight will take with it some stereotypical reactions people have to me as a "big black woman?"...a "big, black church lady." Will I be a different person when I finally meet the man of God for me? I've just been thinking. I know that I'm different than I was 10 years ago, but can't imagine the person who's emerging from the weight loss.
In other news...my daughter continues to miraculously loose weight in spite of the days she falls off the wagon. I stare at her with envy every week at weigh-in time wondering how she accomplishes these amazing feats. God really loves her! I'm happy for her and at the same time have great concern that she conquers the poor eating habits and makes better choices. She is an adult, so I try to influence by the way I eat and live. Secretly I wish I could eat what she does and still loose weight...just being honest.
I've been reading a lot of good blogs from the NS community and feeding off their energy. I'm blessed that I can pull from others who I don't even know. The wonders of cyberspace... |
posted by heavenlydm @ 4:00 PM   |
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